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Old 01-09-2013, 11:49 AM   #301
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It will get easier the more you do it
Kinda like anal.
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Old 01-09-2013, 12:17 PM   #302
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Kinda like anal.
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Old 01-09-2013, 01:29 PM   #303
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I've never once met a girl in a bar whom I didn't have some previous connection with that I was even remotely interested in seeing again.
Ok, so instead of asking if people really go to bars with the sole purpose of meeting others what you meant was that you personally do not.

Clear now.
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Old 01-09-2013, 01:43 PM   #304
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Ok, so instead of asking if people really go to bars with the sole purpose of meeting others what you meant was that you personally do not.

Clear now.
I suppose a better way to look at it would be that I know people *do*, but I don't understand *why*. Like smoking weed, or drinking vodka martinis.
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Old 01-09-2013, 01:45 PM   #305
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I hope a ridiculously hot, single, rich woman chats you up at the bar for hours and sends all the right signals, but when you go to ask for her number she says, "sorry I don't date the kind of people that go to bars".
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Old 01-09-2013, 01:45 PM   #306
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That last sentence can be read with an interpretation I don't think you meant.

But we support you if it's true!


I should have said "I'm not even really interested in this girl."
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:01 PM   #307
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I hope a ridiculously hot, single, rich woman chats you up at the bar for hours and sends all the right signals, but when you go to ask for her number she says, "sorry I don't date the kind of people that go to bars".
If you'll recall from previous posts, I will have already friend zoned her.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:21 PM   #308
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If you'll recall from previous posts, I will have already friend zoned her.
I'm confused. Which one of you is bringing the soup?
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:26 PM   #309
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I'm confused. Which one of you is bringing the soup?
In that case it would be her.

Also, let me clarify: there is a difference between going to a bar and having a chance meeting with a girl/guy and going to a bar for the explicit purpose of meeting a girl/guy. It could be argued that I have done the former, but never the latter.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:29 PM   #310
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Consider yourself lucky that she told you first. Sometimes you get your nuts stepped on without any warning.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:39 PM   #311
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In that case it would be her.

Also, let me clarify: there is a difference between going to a bar and having a chance meeting with a girl/guy and going to a bar for the explicit purpose of meeting a girl/guy. It could be argued that I have done the former, but never the latter.
My point was that you basically said you've never met anyone worth dating at a bar and didn't seem too convinced of that changing. And I think that's a pretty stupid viewpoint to hold.

As far as I'm aware, unless you're secretly married, you have a 0% success rate with finding a partner regardless of where it was from.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:41 PM   #312
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:43 PM   #313
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Womanly advice needed:

One of the big questions on my date's mind was why a 42 yr old guy isn't married. She figured there was a big chance I was either gay or too nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up. Basically, "why hasn't he been picked up by now?" She was actually relieved to find out I'm divorced.

Should I mention the divorce thing in the online ad? Does that trigger a strong assumption in your mind that divorce = emotional baggage? Is your reaction strong enough that you'd advise not mentioning the word?
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:47 PM   #314
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Womanly advice needed:

One of the big questions on my date's mind was why a 42 yr old guy isn't married. She figured there was a big chance I was either gay or too nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up. Basically, "why hasn't he been picked up by now?" She was actually relieved to find out I'm divorced.

Should I mention the divorce thing in the online ad? Does that trigger a strong assumption in your mind that divorce = emotional baggage? Is your reaction strong enough that you'd advise not mentioning the word?
If it's any comfort to you, I think you are plenty nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up irregardless of any divorce!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Irregardless
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:48 PM   #315
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Womanly advice needed:

One of the big questions on my date's mind was why a 42 yr old guy isn't married. She figured there was a big chance I was either gay or too nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up. Basically, "why hasn't he been picked up by now?" She was actually relieved to find out I'm divorced.

Should I mention the divorce thing in the online ad? Does that trigger a strong assumption in your mind that divorce = emotional baggage? Is your reaction strong enough that you'd advise not mentioning the word?
No, I think that's also a pretty moronic viewpoint to hold. You shouldn't need to highlight your divorce, nor do I think that's necessarily a check in the "oh thank goodness" column.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:50 PM   #316
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Well, he did say womanly advice, not necessarily advice from a woman.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:51 PM   #317
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No, I think that's also a pretty moronic viewpoint to hold. You shouldn't need to highlight your divorce, nor do I think that's necessarily a check in the "oh thank goodness" column.
Yeah, she sounds like an insecure dummy.
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:52 PM   #318
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You should've said "I'm divorced... so what's wrong with you?"
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:53 PM   #319
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Zamfir said... View Post
Womanly advice needed:

One of the big questions on my date's mind was why a 42 yr old guy isn't married. She figured there was a big chance I was either gay or too nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up. Basically, "why hasn't he been picked up by now?" She was actually relieved to find out I'm divorced.

Should I mention the divorce thing in the online ad? Does that trigger a strong assumption in your mind that divorce = emotional baggage? Is your reaction strong enough that you'd advise not mentioning the word?
I don't know that I can help. I'm in a similar boat. I've had people tell me that it's strange that I'm almost 32 and have never been married. They tell me that it's a red flag.

I'd probably mention the divorce since this does seem to be some stupid moronic viewpoint held....
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:55 PM   #320
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No, I think that's also a pretty moronic viewpoint to hold. You shouldn't need to highlight your divorce, nor do I think that's necessarily a check in the "oh thank goodness" column.
So should I change my profile to say "single" instead of "divorced" ?
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Old 01-09-2013, 02:59 PM   #321
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My point was that you basically said you've never met anyone worth dating at a bar and didn't seem too convinced of that changing. And I think that's a pretty stupid viewpoint to hold.

As far as I'm aware, unless you're secretly married, you have a 0% success rate with finding a partner regardless of where it was from.
I've never gone to a bar intent on finding someone to date. I've never met anyone at a bar that went to said bar intent on finding someone at that bar to date that I found to be worth dating. I'm not convinced that I will find someone that goes to bars to find people to date to be worth dating. On the other hand, I have been at bars for other reasons and met people at said bars that were at such bar for other reasons that I considered worth meeting again for a date. Better?

Also, I didn't realize marriage was now your yardstick of a successful relationship. How's that working out for you?
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:06 PM   #322
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So should I change my profile to say "single" instead of "divorced" ?
No, I was just saying it's not like middle-aged women are sitting around going "You know who I wish I could meet? A divorcee. Man those are the best."

It's not something I would choose to over or under emphasize, it just kind of is.

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I've never gone to a bar intent on finding someone to date. I've never met anyone at a bar that went to said bar intent on finding someone at that bar to date that I found to be worth dating. I'm not convinced that I will find someone that goes to bars to find people to date to be worth dating. On the other hand, I have been at bars for other reasons and met people at said bars that were at such bar for other reasons that I considered worth meeting again for a date. Better?
Yes.

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Also, I didn't realize marriage was now your yardstick of a successful relationship. How's that working out for you?
OK then, you're not married, but I forgot you in a secret long-term, satisfying, successful relationship... You're still batting 0%. I am too.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:11 PM   #323
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I don't know that I can help. I'm in a similar boat. I've had people tell me that it's strange that I'm almost 32 and have never been married. They tell me that it's a red flag.
That's just stupid. Better to wait then just jump into a binding agreement before you are ready. I have younger single friends that are fretting all the time about this and I don't know where this stigma comes from either, probably parents - "So, when am I going to be a Grandmother?"
Shaddap already ....

And red flag? Anybody who calls THAT a red flag is just looking for one and would likely find something else if that were not the case. I have seen a good deal of red flags and believe me sista, that ain't one of them!

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Old 01-09-2013, 03:12 PM   #324
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Womanly advice needed:

One of the big questions on my date's mind was why a 42 yr old guy isn't married. She figured there was a big chance I was either gay or too nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up. Basically, "why hasn't he been picked up by now?" She was actually relieved to find out I'm divorced.

Should I mention the divorce thing in the online ad? Does that trigger a strong assumption in your mind that divorce = emotional baggage? Is your reaction strong enough that you'd advise not mentioning the word?
I've had it go both ways; the women that had an issue with me being divorced were generally not the kind of women I wanted to be around. They were the ones who I considered to be too much like the woman I just divorced.
The rest of them were like "whatevs, are you over her? OK, cool."
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:15 PM   #325
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I don't know that I can help. I'm in a similar boat. I've had people tell me that it's strange that I'm almost 32 and have never been married. They tell me that it's a red flag.

I'd probably mention the divorce since this does seem to be some stupid moronic viewpoint held....
I wish I could remember the exact wording, but a friend of mine, a divorcee who is 10 years older than me, told me I am lost in the INBETWEEN zone..

20 year old girls want to have fun, 30 year old women want to get married, 40 year olds want to avoid commitment cause they got burned in their 20's and 30's... Or something like that. So I am stuck with the women my age who don't want anything... Hmmm...
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:15 PM   #326
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Womanly advice needed:

One of the big questions on my date's mind was why a 42 yr old guy isn't married. She figured there was a big chance I was either gay or too nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up. Basically, "why hasn't he been picked up by now?" She was actually relieved to find out I'm divorced.

Should I mention the divorce thing in the online ad? Does that trigger a strong assumption in your mind that divorce = emotional baggage? Is your reaction strong enough that you'd advise not mentioning the word?
a perfectly reasonable question on her part.

i think you should def. mention it.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:17 PM   #327
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I don't know that I can help. I'm in a similar boat. I've had people tell me that it's strange that I'm almost 32 and have never been married. They tell me that it's a red flag.

I'd probably mention the divorce since this does seem to be some stupid moronic viewpoint held....
nah.

a red flag is being 35 and never having been laid.

that is cause to hit the brakes and put it in reverse.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:18 PM   #328
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Womanly advice needed:

One of the big questions on my date's mind was why a 42 yr old guy isn't married. She figured there was a big chance I was either gay or too nerdy/inexperienced/emotionally screwed up. Basically, "why hasn't he been picked up by now?" She was actually relieved to find out I'm divorced.

Should I mention the divorce thing in the online ad? Does that trigger a strong assumption in your mind that divorce = emotional baggage? Is your reaction strong enough that you'd advise not mentioning the word?
People are strange. Only thing ive noticed are party animal 40-50 year olds that SAY they want to settle down but really they just SAY that. Maybe this person has met a few of those types? Maybe she just wanted to know that you had a long term commitment before and that wasnt something new to you. Id not over think it to much.

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I don't know that I can help. I'm in a similar boat. I've had people tell me that it's strange that I'm almost 32 and have never been married. They tell me that it's a red flag.

I'd probably mention the divorce since this does seem to be some stupid moronic viewpoint held....
So many 30 something woman around not married im not sure either why that is an issue. That is so odd. Of course the screams independence and you dont have those pesky kids that come with the package also that would make you NEED a partner

Oh and everyone is the critic I got married "too young". Some people are ready sooner and some ready later.
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:19 PM   #329
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nah.

a red flag is being 35 and never having been laid.

that is cause to hit the brakes and put it in reverse.
Oh shush! Be nice!
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Old 01-09-2013, 03:19 PM   #330
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