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Old 01-06-2013, 10:21 PM   #31
Zamfir
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Brother Mango said... View Post
I encountered something similar with local women: the online thing goes on for ever and ever and never converts into a face-to-face meeting before I call shenanigans.
Ask to meet up by message #3 or #4. Hesitation = move on.
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Old 01-06-2013, 11:53 PM   #32
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Ask to meet up by message #3 or #4. Hesitation = move on.
No more of that for me. Online dating ain't happenin' no more.
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Old 01-07-2013, 01:21 AM   #33
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Woo Hoo!!!

Kate,
I saw your profile, and I'm interested in talking to you sometime. I see you play the bass and you like to ride bicycles. That's awesome! Let me know if you're interested!
Thanks,
Matt






See, I'm getting the hang of this. I'm not sure if it will work though.....
Drop the "let me know if you're interested" part, and replace it with "I'd love to hear more about that"
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Old 01-07-2013, 01:23 AM   #34
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Just be careful with online dating.

One of my friends is currently employed to be 12 different female personas on a very well known dating site.

He has a book of photos for each of them, and only responds to emails, or text chat.
It's creepy talking to him now, in real life
I had to read this post twice to understand it.
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Old 01-07-2013, 01:28 AM   #35
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I think my bride and I decided to meet (in a public place) after about three or four online conversations, the spark was there, and after a short engagement (8 years) we decided to tie the knot.


You were engaged before you decided to get married?

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Old 01-07-2013, 08:41 AM   #36
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You were engaged before you decided to get married?

We do something wrong?
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:47 AM   #37
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So I get my first message from POF...

"Just thought I would say Hi and see if you were interested in talking or texting....my name is GeorgeAnn and my profile is limited but I think I am pretty interesting "

Has her phone number below it... Who in the hell names their daughter GEORGE? I don't see me yelling out her name during sex...
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Old 01-07-2013, 08:51 AM   #38
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Brother Mango said... View Post
I encountered something similar with local women: the online thing goes on for ever and ever and never converts into a face-to-face meeting before I call shenanigans.
Women are told to be so very cautious....the two guys I have meet were after drawn out conversations. When we met, I felt no chemistry....that sucked. So now, I'm deciding to chat a bit to try and get a feel for their personality and meet then much faster. Especially now that I know I need to feel a sense of chemistry right off the bat.
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Typical Kate thread.

Innocent post from Kate.
Cocks come cock it all up.
Kate starts cursing.
Kate realizes that cocks are cocking her out of love.
Kate rides the wave.
Group hug.
t3ch says something racist.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:05 AM   #39
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Women are told to be so very cautious....the two guys I have meet were after drawn out conversations. When we met, I felt no chemistry....that sucked. So now, I'm deciding to chat a bit to try and get a feel for their personality and meet then much faster. Especially now that I know I need to feel a sense of chemistry right off the bat.
Just remember, send up the bat signal if a date goes sideways, and I'll send in the trannies. I got yo' back!
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:13 AM   #40
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solderjunkie said... View Post
This!

Then again, she might want "in" on it...
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Have you tried? You might be pleasantly surprised.
If either of you had ever met the ball and chain you would understand that she is a terribly jealous woman, and has threatened to perform a Lorena Bobbit type procedure on me if I am ever guilty of infidelity.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:21 AM   #41
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Fuck a load of online dating unless you're a dude who's either super hot, ripped, or mentions money.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:28 AM   #42
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Fuck a load of online dating unless you're a dude who's either super hot, ripped, or mentions money.
Guess I need to start putting $$$ in all my posts, cause I sure am not going to be ripped anytime soon!!!
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:30 AM   #43
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Your main picture being you next to a $100k Mercedes works just as well, etc.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:40 AM   #44
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Your main picture being you next to a $100k Mercedes works just as well, etc.
I'll run down to the dealership at lunch and get some new profile pics... Do I need a handful of Benji's, too? ? ?
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:42 AM   #45
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Now now, ladies love subtlety...
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:46 AM   #46
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Your main picture being you next to a $100k Mercedes works just as well, etc.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:49 AM   #47
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Women are told to be so very cautious....the two guys I have meet were after drawn out conversations. When we met, I felt no chemistry....that sucked. So now, I'm deciding to chat a bit to try and get a feel for their personality and meet then much faster. Especially now that I know I need to feel a sense of chemistry right off the bat.
I understand that. I think of one woman in particular who was happy to email back & forth for a couple of months. If I was creepy or threatening, then just leave me alone.

She had her own issues that I now see it was silly of me to have tried to accommodate.

It makes sense to chat a while and not waste your time meeting with someone that you should have weeded out. just don't let it drag out for 2 months. However, for me, it's one more reason to scrap online dating.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:50 AM   #48
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BottomHeavyKate said... View Post
Women are told to be so very cautious....the two guys I have meet were after drawn out conversations. When we met, I felt no chemistry....that sucked. So now, I'm deciding to chat a bit to try and get a feel for their personality and meet then much faster. Especially now that I know I need to feel a sense of chemistry right off the bat.
Chemistry is dangerous. I would be very concerned about using that as a primary criterion.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:51 AM   #49
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Seethroughsouls said... View Post
If either of you had ever met the ball and chain you would understand that she is a terribly jealous woman, and has threatened to perform a Lorena Bobbit type procedure on me if I am ever guilty of infidelity.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:55 AM   #50
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===
One thing that was great about Dr. Glover's book and online courses was that he gave us permission to own whatever it was we were looking for. There was no shame if we were out in the world looking for a blowjob or a wife or a steady girlfriend. So, the whole adventure started with "what the hell do I want? Honestly!" From there, it became a numbers game and it was fun.
This is Golden and I think a big reason why many struggle with this process. Not knowing what you want in the first place makes it pretty hard to actually get it.

I have always chimed in with the advice to escalate quickly and I understand that women are cautious. And they should be. In fact men should be cautious too. But caution does not mean dragging out the getting to know you phase over texts and messages - that can be a mess because it's too easy to build a non existent person out of thin air and dissapointment is bound to be inevitable.

There was one woman that I hit it off with pretty quickly and we arranged to meet the following week. Since a meeting was arranged I thought no more about it and didn't message at all. So I get a note from her on the day of that she is going to bail out, because she felt "the connection is gone"

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Old 01-07-2013, 09:55 AM   #51
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Chemistry is dangerous. I would be very concerned about using that as a primary criterion.
True.

But no chemistry, as in none, is pointless.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:05 AM   #52
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True.

But no chemistry, as in none, is pointless.
The art of dating chemistry is taking two or more elements, and creating something with them that doesn't rapidly combust, corrode, irradiate, or poison.

"Chemistry" is step two if you ask me. Without exception, in every long term relationship I've been in, I've liked and appreciated that person much more after 3 months than I did after 3 dates. Some chemical reactions are rapid and violent, some are slow-developing and require steady heat and light agitation to fully develop. There you go.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:07 AM   #53
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Chemistry, when coupled with common sense and a bit of skepticism is usually a safe bet.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:10 AM   #54
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With BP I figured that if the dates went well after a few months that we would continue dating. Sure I was attracted but that wasn't everything either. It also gave me time to see how we both reacted to each other saying things that would be offensive.
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I think you're right.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:12 AM   #55
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With BP I figured that if the dates went well after a few months that we would continue dating. Sure I was attracted but that wasn't everything either. It also gave me time to see how we both reacted to each other saying things that would be offensive.
At what point in the dating timeline did you first make him sit down to pee
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:13 AM   #56
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Chemistry is dangerous. I would be very concerned about using that as a primary criterion.
That crossed my mind. We'd have to ask "what is being defined as chemistry?"

Is it an expectation of love at first site? Or, is it the presence of one or more deal-breakers?
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:15 AM   #57
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If either of you had ever met the ball and chain you would understand that she is a terribly jealous woman, and has threatened to perform a Lorena Bobbit type procedure on me if I am ever guilty of infidelity.
Who said anything about infidelity. Have her jump in. the more the merrier. There's probably enough of you to share.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:20 AM   #58
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That crossed my mind. We'd have to ask "what is being defined as chemistry?"

Is it an expectation of love at first site? Or, is it the presence of one or more deal-breakers?
That's key isn't it? It's not hard to confuse chemistry with all sorts of things, from excitement to attraction to making me laugh to everything in between - and that is probably where a lot of us trip and fall. I know I have - "But we have so much chemistry!" No you don't, dumbass, just because she laughs at all your jokes and you both like a few of the same bands is hardly all there is to chemistry.

In fact we need a knew term - chemistry is just too vague.
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:21 AM   #59
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That crossed my mind. We'd have to ask "what is being defined as chemistry?"

Is it an expectation of love at first site? Or, is it the presence of one or more deal-breakers?
If we depended on love at first sight, and were totally inflexible on the deal-breakers, we would deplete as a species very rapidly.

And regarding deal-breakers, write down a list of what you find as non-negotiable, then look at it objectively, and think about which ones are actually kind of absurd. I mean, yeah, if you aren't OK with intravenous drug use, that's one thing, but I've heard people say "I didn't go on a second date with him/her because when he picked me up, he/she was listening to Eminem." COME ON!
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Old 01-07-2013, 10:24 AM   #60
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And regarding deal-breakers, write down a list of what you find as non-negotiable, then look at it objectively, and think about which ones are actually kind of absurd. I mean, yeah, if you aren't OK with intravenous drug use, that's one thing, but I've heard people say "I didn't go on a second date with him/her because when he picked me up, he/she was listening to Eminem." COME ON!
Seriously! I mean it's not like he was listening to Nickleback!!!
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