Your Favorite Twisted and/or Weird lyrics

[oldivor]

Mine would have to be Black Flag's I Love You

[Grumpy_Polecat]

Not my all-time favorite, but high-ranking:


Labio-Dental Fricative

(Stanshall/Innes)

Cannibal chiefs chew Camembert cheese
'cause chewing keeps 'em cheeky
Big Fat Fred sticks fur to his head
'cause he thinks fur makes him freaky
Benjamin Bland and his Bugle Band blow the blues bi-weekly
(Yee hoo hoo!)
How many pies can a porpoise poise on purpose if she pleases?

I got up at eight, it was half past two
I said to myself, "Well, how do you do?"
I've gotta get on, so I soon got off
Stuck a clean shirt on, and had a good cough
Back at the boozer, a bloke I knew
Said he knew a secret no one knew
He pinched some snuff, and he sniffed and sighed
So I pinched his snout, and he replied,

"Cannibal chiefs chew Camembert cheese
'cause chewing keeps 'em cheeky
Big Fat Fred sticks fur to his head
'cause he thinks fur makes him freaky
Benjamin Bland and his Bugle Band blow the blues bi-weekly
How many pies can a porpoise poise on purpose if she pleases?"

Here am I a sailor
Seabirds fly above me
Listen to their cry
See them in the sky above me
Here am I a sailor
Fishes swim below me
Even while I sleep
Growing in the deep below me

I rode a long worm to the end of the line
I asked Tin Man if he'd tell me the time
He took off his hat, and he took off his head
Took off Max Bygraves, here's what he said,
"You take first right and second left."
The man in the moon says, "How's your chest?"
The man in the sun says, "Have another one!"
So we're all tanked up and singing along

Cannibal chiefs chew camembert cheese
'cause chewing keeps 'em cheeky
Big Fat Fred fixes fur to his head
'cause he thinks fur makes him freaky
Benjamin Bland and his Bugle Band blow the blues bi-weekly
(Mmmmm, mm)
How many pies can a porpoise poise on purpose if she pleases?

[Mrs.Tone]

Hehe, my fav lyrics;


[QUOTE] My Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling

When I was a little biddy boy
My grandma bought me a cute little toy
Two Silver bells on a string
She told me it was my ding-a-ling-a-ling

My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling

When I was little boy In Grammar school
Always went by the very best rule
But Evertime the bell would ring
You'd catch me playing with my ding-a-ling

Once while climbing the garden wall,
Slipped and fell had a very bad fall
I fell so hard I heard birds sing,
But I held on to My ding-a-ling

Once while swimming cross turtle creek
Man them snappers right at my feet
Sure was hard swimming cross that thing
with both hands holding my dingaling

Now this here song it ain't so bad
Prettiest little song that you ever had
And those of you who will not sing
must be playing with your own ding-a-ling[QUOTE]

:D :D Good Old Chuck Berry

[NotFSI]

I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen
And knock her upper during supper
Clutter up her butter gutter
Hostess Ding Dong wrapped an eggroll around my wong
While Dolly Madison proceded to ping my pong
Your Milky Way is M'n'M in your britches
And I'll tell you Baby Ruth it looks mighty delicious
Keep blowing my gum, cuz here I come
I'm gonna get you all sticky with my Bubble Yum

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a bone, baby

I was givin' some head to some french bread
It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed
French kissin' french fries in my Fruit of the Looms
I get deeper penetration with a fork and a spoon

I got yogurt meat loaf smeared all over my ass
I stick my weiner in two buns and and then give it the gas
Sour cream from my spleen into Levi jeans
Gonna bust the seams with my refried beans

Ronald McDonald just loves to be fondled
With Big Mac he'll fuck it like a Chicken McNugget
Colonel Sanders wants to goose Granny's loose caboose
He's gonna give her a boost with that Kentucky fried juice
Sooper doop poop scoop, loop de loop, chicken coop
Shoot some hoop, top sirloin from the groin
Topped with dick cheese, sneeze, wheeze,
From the skeez disease, wooi!

Take a dump, baby, squirt some gravy
Pour some sugar on me, honey, make it brown & runny
Give a little Flavor Flav, back from the grave
Gonna burn some toast, pump some humpin' rump roast

Knick knack paddywhack, jump in the sack, in fact
Jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back
Bananarama or ramabanana
Fuckin' Barry Manilow on the Copa Cabana

Squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna

You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like queers
"Holy moly, guacamole!" said my Chips Ahoy
I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough...Tall man

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby

We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat

[brake]

My sisters and I
Have this wish before we die
And it may sound strange
As if our minds are deranged
Please don't ask us why
Beneath the sheltering sky
We have this strange obsession
You have the means in your possession

We want our tea in the Sahara with you
We want our tea in the Sahara with you

The young man agreed
He would satisfy their need
So they danced for his pleasure
With a joy you could not measure
They would wait for him here
The same place every year
Beneath the sheltering sky
Across the desert he would fly

Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you

The sky turned to black
Would he ever come back?
They would climb a high dune
They would pray to the moon
But he'd never return
So the sisters would burn
As their eyes searched the land
With their cups full of sand

Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you
Tea in the Sahara with you

[bnyswonger]

My Avatar's work -

WOLFPACK

Howling the pack in formation appears
diamonds and clubs, light misted fog, the dead
waving us back in formation,
the pack in formation
bowling they bat as a group
and the leader is seen - so early...
the pack on their backs, the fighters
through misty the waving - the pack in formation
far reaching waves
on sight, shone right
I lay as if in surround...
all enmeshing, hovering...
the milder I gaze
all the animals laying trail
beyond the bough winds
mild the reflecting electricity eyes...
tears, the life that was ours
grows sharper and stronger away and beyond
short wheeling - fresh spring
gripped with blanched bones - moaned
magnesium, proverbs and sobs...
howling the pack in formation appears
diamonds and clubs, light misted fog, the dead
waving us back in formation,
the pack in formation...

[philthygeezer]

FATHER RILEY B. JONES :
This is the story 'bout Bald-Headed John

FORMER EXECS:
Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong

FATHER RILEY B. JONES:
He talks a lot 'n it's usually wrong

FORMER EXECS:
Dong work for Yuda, Dong, Dong

FATHER RILEY B.JONES:
He said Dong was Wong,
'N Wong was Kong
'N Dong work for Yuda,
N John was wrong

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
Dong work for Yuda
Dong, Dong
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
He said Dong was Wong
And Wong was Kong
And Dong was Gong
'N John was wrong

FATHER RILEY B. JONES :
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
John's got a sausage that will make you fart
John's got a sausage that will break your heart
Make you fart
And break your heart
Don't bend over if you are smart
He took a little walk to the weenie stand
Johns got a sausage
Yeh man
A great big weenie in both his hands
John's got a sausage
Yeh man
He sucked on the end 'til the mustard squirt
He said. "Ya'll stand back 'cause you might get hurt'

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
Johns got a sausage
Yeh man
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
He said Dong was Wong
Wong was Kong
Kong was Gong
'N" John was wrong
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
Make way for the iron shaschige

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
I need a dozen towels so the boys can take a shower

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
Bartender, bring me a colada and milk

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
On second thought, make that a water . . . HtO

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
Falcum . . .
Take me to the falcum!

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
I wave my bags
Did you wave vour'n

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
Well how much did they wave?

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
Ah'm almost two kilometers tall

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
This girl must be praketing richcraft

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
Don't worry about the faggot
I'll take care of the faggot

FORMER EXECS:
Sorry John
Sorry better
Try it again
Try it again,
Try it again
Try, try, try again . . .
etc., etc., etc.

BALD-HEADED JOHN:
Your Pomona is very extinct...
Yeah, I studied with the Dong of Tokyo
'N also with the oriental Kato...
My body contain uh water
I just loves the way these Copenhagens talks!
Driver, McDoodle...
Sausage
Salima
Salami
That looks like that stuff that Freckles lets out
Once a rmimfth...

[oldivor]

I'm your wicked Uncle Ernie
I'm glad you won't see or hear me
As I fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about !

Your mother left me here to mind you
Now I'm doing what I want to
Fiddling about
Fiddling about
Fiddle about!

Down with the bedclothes
Up with the nightshirt!
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about !

You won't shout as I fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about
Fiddle about !
Fiddle, fiddle, fiddle.

[bassmama]

This song got WAY too played out but it is a classic for crazy twisted lyrics!

Loser

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey
butane in my veins so i'm out to cut the junkie
with the plastic eyeballs
spray paint the vegetables
dog food stalls with the beefcake pantyhose
kill the headlights and put it in neutral
stock car flamin' with a loser and the cruise control
baby's in Reno with the vitamin D
got a couple of couches sleep on the love seat
someone keeps sayin' I'm insane to complain about
a shotgun wedding and a stain on my shirt
don't believe everything that you breathe
you get a parking violation and a maggot on your sleeve
so shave your face with some mace in the dark
savin' all your food stamps and burnin' down the trailer park
(yo cut it)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(double-barrel buckshot)
Soy un perdedor i'm a loser baby,so why don't you kill me?
Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare
banned all the music with a phony gas chamber
'cuz one's got a weasel and the other's got a flag
one's got on the pole shove the other in a bag
with the rerun shows and the cocaine nose job
the daytime crap with the folksinger slop
he hung himself with a guitar string
slap the turkey neck and it's hangin' on a pigeon wing
you can't write if you can't relate
trade the cash for the beef for the body for the hate
and my time is a piece of wax
fallin' on a termite who's chokin' on the splinters
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(get crazy with the cheeze whiz)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(drive-by body pierce)
(yo bring it on down)
soooooooyy....
(I'm a driver I'm a winner things are gonna change I can feel it)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(I can't believe you)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
[repeat]
(Sprechen sie Deutches, baby)
Soy un perdedor I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me?
(Know what I'm sayin'?)

[BerserkingBovine]

I'm going to go ahead and steal the resident Viking's thunder here, but this is Crotchduster's "Let me into Starfish Land."

The a train never stops
And I am headed for your hole
I'd be so lucky if I
Could cream in your asshole
There's so much shit that we
Could make each other do
I'd rather fuck your asshole
If that's OK with you
Here comes the honey
When I am through
But I am not done cause
Your asshole is so new
Open up wide, here comes the train
If your head was between your legs
Id love to screw your brain

Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll take you all to starfish land

Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll suck out all the peanuts
I'll suck out all the beans
I'll tongue fuck your rectum
I'll drive up your dirt road
I'll felch out my own semen
And spit it down your throat

I love bunnies
I love pink
I love my moms underpants
Especially when they stink
I love rainbows
I love balloons
I cried at forest gump
And disney cartoons

Boba fett, boba fett
Vader and boba fett

Lubed up mustard glove
Anal love
Traveling butt raping show
Steal a mercedes
And grab the old ladies
And grease up your o

She said that I could touch it
She said she'd let me in
I warmed her up with my middle finger
Some anal ease and gin
My wang was in her crap trap
Just about to explode
Her 30 year old stepmom
Came in and drank my load

[bassmama]

I'm going to go ahead and steal the resident Viking's thunder here, but this is Crotchduster's "Let me into Starfish Land."

The a train never stops
And I am headed for your hole
I'd be so lucky if I
Could cream in your asshole
There's so much shit that we
Could make each other do
I'd rather fuck your asshole
If that's OK with you
Here comes the honey
When I am through
But I am not done cause
Your asshole is so new
Open up wide, here comes the train
If your head was between your legs
Id love to screw your brain

Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll take you all to starfish land

Let me lick your asshole
Let me lick it clean
I'll suck out all the peanuts
I'll suck out all the beans
I'll tongue fuck your rectum
I'll drive up your dirt road
I'll felch out my own semen
And spit it down your throat

I love bunnies
I love pink
I love my moms underpants
Especially when they stink
I love rainbows
I love balloons
I cried at forest gump
And disney cartoons

Boba fett, boba fett
Vader and boba fett

Lubed up mustard glove
Anal love
Traveling butt raping show
Steal a mercedes
And grab the old ladies
And grease up your o

She said that I could touch it
She said she'd let me in
I warmed her up with my middle finger
Some anal ease and gin
My wang was in her crap trap
Just about to explode
Her 30 year old stepmom
Came in and drank my load

why?
why? why?
why?
Why would anyone want to listen to such filth?

[allan]

why?
why? why?
why?
Why would anyone want to listen to such filth?

Shock factor, I guess.

[Seethroughsouls]

Infectious Grooves
Cousin Randy

"Many people have many definitions of what family is
Some say it's blood, some say it's a bond,
some say it's a bond made with blood.
Well, this is the story of Cousin Randy.
Cousin Randy, six-foot-seven cyco muthafucka,
locked down half his life.
He's my family, family by blood.
And if you see him, don't look at him long,
cause he'll kill ya, in a second, and it wouldn't be the first time.
Cousin Randy..."

He'd disappear for years, then one day he would
just show
Dad would buy him shows, give him $50 and he'd go
He talked about the good old days of war in Vietnam
Did two tours of duty with his new love heroin

You knew he'd be convicted before he was ever tried
Did his time in Chino, then Folsom and Wayside
But every day was prison, molested as a kid
Abused by his stepfather, hard to believe the things
he did

We call him Cousin Randy

Couldn't get up in the morning, couldn't get to sleep
at night
Swore the room was full of Demons, but nothin' was in
our sight
No one was safe when Randy came out to play
He would leave you for dead and then just walk away

We call him Cousin Randy

One time while at Grandma's, it was getting kind
of late
Randy stayed outside 'cause his odor was so great
He walked out the door and I told him "good night"
He charged me, grabbed my neck and he started
squeezing tight
Dad and Jim and Grandpa jumped on to his back
He screamed "What's so good about it" before he let
up his attack
The next day, while we were swimming, he tried to
drown my sister
Laughing as she struggled, then he pulled her up and
kissed her

We call him Cousin Randy. To us, he's just
Cousin Randy

"Yeah, so when Cousin Randy wasn't in jail,
he used to trip around, sometimes showin' up at
the relatives house, hangin' for a while then leavin'.
You know, everybody feelin' sorry for him and shit,
'cause, you know, his mom died when he was so young of leukemia.
Well one time while he was staying at my grandfather's house,
you know, they were trying to help him out, gettin' him jobs, but you know,
Randy wasn't too much on workin'.
He had a one job he did longer than ever. He never worked more than two
days, but this job he lasted a week! Yeah, it was taking the heads off o'
chickens. So one day my grandfather had to ask him, seein' how Randy
would get up early in the morning, make his lunch and he'd even go to
work early, he was like 'Randy, what's so great about this job?' He says
'It makes ya think, it makes ya wonder, i's just so expanding of the mind.
Ya see, there I am, I rip the head off the chicken, and then the chicken
starts flyin' all over. Then he comes back at me, and I wonder is he flyin'
back at me 'cause he's mad 'cuase I ripped his head off, or is he flyin'
at me 'cause I'm holdin' his head in my hand, or is he flyin' at me 'cause
he can't see where he's goin'?' Yeah, ain't no one seen Cousin Randy in
many years..."




Suicidal Tendencies
I saw your mommy

Yesterday as I went out of the house
I saw her body lying down as quiet as a mouse
She was lying face down in the sewer
What you do-I got up closer and realized that I knew her
What you see-All her organs coming from her inside
That's nasty-Slashed up skin, sliced-up hide
Tell me some more-I turned her over and saw the tire tracks on her head
Then what-That's when I realized she was dead

Twisted body, chopped-off feet
Her body was minced meat
Bust crawling on her arms
She's dead can't do no harm
Gnarled-up legs, broken and bent
Her last breath has been spent

I wonder how much you had to pay
To get your mom killed in such a bloody way

I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead
I watched her as she bled
Well she had-Chewed-off toes on her chopped-off feet
Say what?-I took a picture 'cause I thought it was neat
That's cold-But the thing I like seeing the best
What's that-Were the rodents using her hair as a nest
Damn-I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead
Say what?-I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead

Twisted body, chopped-off feet
Her body was minced meat
Bust crawling on her arms
She's dead can't do no harm
Gnarled-up legs, broken and bent
Her last breath has been spent

I know it is your allowance that you'll really miss
But make it look good at her funeral and give her little kiss

I saw your mommy and your mommy's dead
I saw her lying in a pool of red-And she don't know how to swim
I think it's the greatest thing I'll ever see-What's that?
Your dead mommy lying in front of me-Ba doo be do
I'll always remember her lying dead on the floor-Ba doo be va
I hope she dies twenty times more

I saw your mommy and your mommy is dead
I saw your mommy and your mommy is dead

Twisted body, chopped-off feet
Her body was minced meat
Bust crawling on her arms
She's dead can't do no harm
Gnarled-up legs, broken and bent
Her last breath has been spent

I wonder how much you had to pay
To get your mom killed in such a bloody way

I saw her, I saw her...mommy

I saw your mommy

Suicidal Tendencies
Institutionalized

Sometimes I try to do things and they just don't turn out the way I want em to.
And I get real frustrated and it's like, I take my time and I try real hard
And no matter what I do, and no matter what I try
It never works out.
And it's like, I concentrate on it real hard, but it never works out
And it's like, I need some time to figure these things out.
But there's always someone there going

Hey Mike:
You know, we've been noticing you have a lot of problems lately.
You know, and like maybe you should talk about it, you'll feel a lot better

And I go:
No it's okay, I'm having some problems, I'll figure it out myself, just leave me alone.
I'll figure it out.

And they go:
Why don't you talk about it? You'll feel a lot better.

And I go:
No I don't want to! Just leave me alone, I'll figure it out myself!

And they just keep on bugging me and it builds up inside
And it builds up inside

So you're gonna be institutionalized
You'll come out brainwashed with bloodshot eyes
You won't have any say
They'll brainwash you until you see their way.

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was in my room and I was like staring at the walls thinking about
Everything but then again I was thinking about nothing
And then my mom came in and I didn't even know she was there and she called my name
And I didn't hear it, and then she started screaming MIKE! MIKE!
And I go:
What, what's the matter?
And she goes:
What's the matter with you?
I said:
Nothing, mom
And she goes:
Don't tell me nothing, you're on drugs!
I go:
No mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I'm just thinking you know, why don't you get me a Pepsi?
And she goes:
NO you're on drugs! You're crazy! Normal people don't be acting that way.
I go:
Mom I'm alright, I'm just thinking, you know. So why don't you like get me a Pepsi?
And she goes:
No, you're crazy!
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me.
Just one Pepsi.

They give you a white shirt with long sleeves
Tied around you're back, you're treated like thieves
Drug you up because they're lazy
It's too much work to help a crazy

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

I was sitting in my room and my mom and my dad came in and they pulled up a chair and they sat down,
They go:
Mike, we need to talk to you
And I said:
Okay what's the matter?
They go:
Me and your mom have been noticing lately you've been having a lot of problems,
And you haven't been acting like yourself.
And we're afraid that you're gonna hurt somebody.
And we're afraid that you're gonna hurt yourself.
So we decided that it would be in your interest if we put you somewhere
Where you could get the help that you need.
And I said:
Wait, what are we talking about? We decided!? My best interest?!
How can you know, how can you say what my best interest is?
What are you trying to say, I'm crazy?
When I went to your schools, I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning facilities?!
So how can you say that I'm crazy.

They say they're gonna fix my brain
Alleviate my suffering and my pain
But by the time they fix my head
Mentally I'll be dead

I'm not crazy - institutionalized
You're the one who's crazy - institutionalized
You're driving me crazy - institutionalized

They stuck me in an institution
Said it was the only solution
To give me the needed professional help
To protect me from the enemy, myself

It doesn't matter their insurance money is about to run out anyhow.

[mrcrow]

Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
"Beware the Jabberock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"
He took his vorpal blade in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought-
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood a while in thought
And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!
One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh, Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogroves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.







www.davi

[beam]

Pressed rat and warthog have closed down their shop.
They didnt want to; twas all they had got.
Selling atonal apples, amplified heat,
And pressed rats collection of dog legs and feet.

Sadly they left, telling no one goodbye.
Pressed rat wore red jodhpurs, warthog a striped tie.
Between them, they carried a three-legged sack,
Went straight round the corner and never came back.

Pressed rat and warthog have closed down their shop.
The bad captain madman had told them to stop
Selling atonal apples, amplified heat,
And pressed rats collection of dog legs and feet.

The bad captain madman had ordered their fate.
He laughed and stomped off with a nautical gate.
The gate turned into a deroga tree
And his pegleg got woodworm and broke into three.

Pressed rat and warthog have closed down their shop.
They didnt want to; twas all they had got.
Selling atonal apples, amplified heat,
And pressed rats collection of dog legs and feet.

[Grumpy_Polecat]

It's one of the most exciting things that's ever happened to me. You know, every time I think about how lucky I am to be in the rock & roll industry, it's SO exciting. You know, when I first got into the rock & roll business I could barely even play the changes to this song on my, on my guitar. But now I'm very proficient at it, I can play the guitar, I can strum it rhythmically, I can sing along with my guitar as I strum. I can strum, sing, dance, I can make merry fun all over the stage. And you know, it's so wonderful to . . . It's wonderful to feel that I'm doing something for the kids, because I know that the kids and their music are where it's at. The youth of America today is so wonderful . . . And I'm proud to be a part of this gigantic mass deception. I hope she sees me twirling, yes . . . I hope she sees me dancing and twirling, I will say: "Hello, dolly!" Is the song over?

Boy, this is really exciting, making a rock & roll record. I can't even wait until our record comes out and the teen-agers start to buy it. We'll all be rich and famous! When my royalty check comes I think I'm going to buy a Mustang. No, I think I'll . . . I think I'll get a Corvette. No, I think I'll get a Harley Davidson. No, I don't think I'll buy any of those cars. I think what I will do is I will buy a boat. No, that wouldn't be good either. I think, ah, I'll go into real estate. I think I would like to . . . I think I would like to buy La Cienega Boulevard. No, that wouldn't do any good. Gee, I wonder if they can see me up here, twirling my tambourine and dancing . . .
Maybe after the show one of the girls who sees me up here, singing and twirling my tambourine and dancing, will like me. And she will come over to me and I will walk . . . I will walk up to her and I will smile at her and I will impress her and I will say: "Hello, baby, what's a girl like you doing in a place like this? I'm from a rock & roll band, I think we should . . . "
Is the song over?

[MBIYF]

why?
why? why?
why?
Why would anyone want to listen to such filth?

You haven't heard the music yet. It's great by the way. More people then you think listen to that filth.

As for werid lyrics... I listen to way too many weird bands with gross lyrics. My latest dicovery is Sikfuk. Good lyrics in the album sleeve... check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn7TUM-Hx5k

[bassmama]

You haven't heard the music yet. It's great by the way. More people then you think listen to that filth.

As for werid lyrics... I listen to way too many weird bands with gross lyrics. My latest dicovery is Sikfuk. Good lyrics in the album sleeve... check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dn7TUM-Hx5k
Nothing personal. I don't care how good the music is... I don't want to listen to that. BTW do I need to remind you that good is subjective?

[Grumpy_Polecat]

bassmama:

I'm guessing you don't see GG Allin as one of the 20th Century's great poets. (And of course, you would be correct in that assessment...)

[bassmama]

[QUOTE=Grumpy_Polecat;116239]bassmama:

I'm guessing you don't see GG Allin as one of the 20th Century's great poets.
not sure who that is but you're probably right if he writes filth for shock value.
I have no problem with grotesque imagery or somewhat twisted sexuality in lyrics/poetry/art - stuff like the lyrics I commented on above is just dumb beavis and butthead mentality type stuff just MHO...

[NotFSI]

When you met me at the party you thought I was a nice guy
But you didn't have a clue at what was going on inside
I ordered you a drink and asked you for a dance
But all I really wanted was to smell your underpants
I'm a pervert, a pervert
Can't change the way I am
I'm a pervert, a pervert
Don't want to shake my hand
That night you asked me over to watch Hollywood Squares
You left me in your room, I left a stain on your teddy bear
Can you see it in my eyes, can you see it in my smile?
Can you see the way I imagine you doing doggystyle
I'm a pervert, a pervert
I've got sweaty palms
I'm a pervert, a pervert
It just goes on and on
On and on, on and on, on and on, on and on
You called me on the phone, said you wanted to talk
But how could you have known what I was doing with my sock
Say you want to be my girlfriend but will you love me anymore
When you catch me with my polaroid outside the bathroom door
I'm a pervert, a pervert
Can't change the way I am
A pervert, a pervert
Don't want to shake my hand
I'm a pervert, a pervert
I've got sweaty palms
A pervert, a pervert
It just goes on and on
On and on, on and on, on and on, on and on

[Grumpy_Polecat]

[QUOTE=Grumpy_Polecat;116239]bassmama:

I'm guessing you don't see GG Allin as one of the 20th Century's great poets.
not sure who that is but you're probably right if he writes filth for shock value.
I have no problem with grotesque imagery or somewhat twisted sexuality in lyrics/poetry/art - stuff like the lyrics I commented on above is just dumb beavis and butthead mentality type stuff just MHO...


GG was the filthiest of the filthy. He stopped short of self-immolation but had few other limits in his 'art'. he was outrageous and made points to ponder along the ~30 obscenity charges he got, but was not particularly poetic in the process.

On a flip side, Zappa had to record these words in reverse in 1967:

Better look around before you say you don't care
Shut your fucking mouth about the length of my hair
How would you survive if you were alive
Shitty little person

I submit that Frank gave listeners more to ponder than GG did with 'Bite it, you scum'.

[bassmama]

Here is an example of grotesque imagery and twisted sexuality done artfully - I'm sure you all know this one...
Aqualung lyrics
Sitting on a park bench --
eyeing ittle girls with bad intent.
Snot running down his nose --
greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes.
Drying in the cold sun --
Watching as the frilly panties run.
Feeling like a dead duck --
spitting out pieces of his broken luck.

Sun streaking cold --
an old man wandering lonely.
Taking time
the only way he knows.
Leg hurting bad,
as he bends to pick a dog-end --
he goes down to the bog
and warms his feet.

Feeling alone --
the army's up the rode
salvation a la mode and
a cup of tea.
Aqualung my friend --
don't start away uneasy
you poor old sod, you see, it's only me.
Do you still remember
December's foggy freeze --
when the ice that
clings on to your beard is
screaming agony.
And you snatch your rattling last breaths
with deep-sea-diver sounds,
and the flowers bloom like
madness in the spring.

[L. Ron Hoover]

[QUOTE=bassmama;116241]


GG was the filthiest of the filthy. He stopped short of self-immolation but had few other limits in his 'art'. he was outrageous and made points to ponder along the ~30 obscenity charges he got, but was not particularly poetic in the process.

On a flip side, Zappa had to record these words in reverse in 1967:

Better look around before you say you don't care
Shut your fucking mouth about the length of my hair
How would you survive if you were alive
Shitty little person

I submit that Frank gave listeners more to ponder than GG did with 'Bite it, you scum'.

Of course, Zappa wasn't exactly averse to filth for filth's sake either.... :D

[Grumpy_Polecat]

One man's ceiling is another man's floor.

I recently switched to prosaic writing, and sometimes make characters say and do things I personally wouldn't dream. Much more than I ever did in poetic form at least.

And its important that readers or listeners understand the difference between the writer and the character whose point of view a writer has adopted. This is why I will always say there's no fundamental difference between your dog barking at you neighbor and you yourself screaming 'fuck you. I want you to die' to your neighbor.

So, no, I'm not big on the idea of censorship, and while GG Allin is not in my frequently played list, he is still in my library.

What separates us from dogs is the ability to articulate and to infer deeper meaning than that of the surface. And clever crafting of horrible content, such as Aqualung, ALWAYS ranks higher than pandering to the lowest common denominator.

There's Jerry Springer, and then there's everything else.

[MBIYF]

Nothing personal. I don't care how good the music is... I don't want to listen to that. BTW do I need to remind you that good is subjective?

No, you don't have to remind me. I think you just answered your own initial question.

"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why would anyone want to listen to such filth?"

Some people don't think it's filth. Music is subjective. I happen to like the dumb beavis and butthead filth. :) I especially enjoy the music that comes along with it. Fast, chaotic and not following any rules... just like the lyrics.

[bassmama]

No, you don't have to remind me. I think you just answered your own initial question.

"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why would anyone want to listen to such filth?"

Some people don't think it's filth. Music is subjective. I happen to like the dumb beavis and butthead filth. :) I especially enjoy the music that comes along with it. Fast, chaotic and not following any rules... just like the lyrics.

Well millions of people do like Beavis and Butthead and I can sort of appreciate that it's just not my thing. And don't get me wrong, I'm no highbrow when it comes to comedy I just don't thing that writing the most disturbing thing you can think of is funny or clever.
I may very well like the music if I heard it I just prefer that I like both the music AND the lyrics.
To each their own though. More power to oyu for actually knowing what you like. Alot of people out there will just stare you blank in the face or say "um like whatever's on the radio" if you ask them what music they like.

[Grumpy_Polecat]

No, you don't have to remind me. I think you just answered your own initial question.

"Why? Why? Why? Why? Why would anyone want to listen to such filth?"

Some people don't think it's filth. Music is subjective. I happen to like the dumb beavis and butthead filth. :) I especially enjoy the music that comes along with it. Fast, chaotic and not following any rules... just like the lyrics.

Personally, I understand that completely. But I'm also curious to know if you have any attraction to things that might be also more literate? For eg, what do you think of Aqualung, both musically and lyrically?

[MBIYF]

To each their own though. More power to oyu for actually knowing what you like. Alot of people out there will just stare you blank in the face or say "um like whatever's on the radio" if you ask them what music they like.

Personally, I understand that completely. But I'm also curious to know if you have any attraction to things that might be also more literate? For eg, what do you think of Aqualung, both musically and lyrically?

I may listen to more literate lyrics from other bands (I listen to lighter music ("real" music ;) (maybe your favourite band)) too)... I only wouldn't know as I don't listen to the lyrics well enough.

Vocals is just another instrument IMHO. Lyrics are obligatory as people want to hear words instead of aaaaah eeh ohhh gaaaah... :D I hold a strong opinion on this matter. For instance, I don't understand why bands print lyrics in their cd booklets. What's the purpose? Do they want the potential crowd to sing along? Why don't they print the geetar tabelature too?

So if you'd ask me to write lyrics it might come out as this:
Sliptoflappy rappy
And a carpal tunnel pudding flanker
Nabble and a stampy and a
Pigeon smelling generator
See a chitlin wafer and a
Chocolate buttered horses ass
Frabble obble abble and a
Stupid monkey chicken gas
Chinese diarrhea prison carpet
Chunky harplegig
Nopaliaseah perforated
Purple parkle pig

...which happen to be a segment from another Crotchduster song. I think they don't care about lyrics either...

I don't know Aqualung. I might like or even love it. :confused:

[Grumpy_Polecat]

"people want to hear words instead of aaaaah eeh ohhh gaaaah..."

That wasn't the case when Led Zeppelin was top of the pops...

'Aqualung' is what bassmama posted above. It's a Jethro Tull song. (Jethro Tull once won a grammy for best heavy metal album, though many of us still wonder why...)

BTW, i'm glad you told me those lyrics were from Crotchduster. I was about to ask you for permission to use them!

[MBIYF]

I'm not very familiar with Tull. I've heard a song or 2. Not enough to make an opinion. That grammy you mention was ment for Metallica BTW!

Do you want my lyrics? :D :D :D
Noooooooo......

[bassmama]

Exterminator by Primal Scream

Gun metal skies, broken lives
Claustrophobic concrete, english high-rise
Exterminate the underclass, exterminate the telepaths

No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience

Incubating ultraviolence, psychic distortions
Slow death injectible, (my case is?) narcosis terminal
Damaged receptors, fractured speech

No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience

Control virus, hallucininatory programmes
Septicaemic interzone, psychic distortions
Satellite sickness, tv junk

No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience

What's up?

No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience
No civil disobedience

Insecticide shots for criminal cops
All jails are concentration camps, all judges are bought
Everyone's a prostitute, everyone's a prostitute

No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience

Lookout kid, they keep it all hid
You think you're free but you ain't free, just free to be hit
You're an unchannelled frequency
Nobody's listening
You're imbalanced permanent, nobody's listening

No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience

No civil disobedience, no civil disobedience
No civil disobedience

[mlwarriner]

excerpts from Intestinal Flake by Watching the Coroner (www.myspace.com/watchingthecoroner)

...I'd rather make out with a bear trap
than live with what i have...


...i'd rather jerk off with rusted pliers
than to know in my heart i'd trusted a liar...


...you know how to treat a lady
you treat her like a whore
you know how to treat a whore
well you treat her like a lady...

...and i'll have my piece
just crawl your cold ass
in between the sheets
and make love to mind and body...

[Grumpy_Polecat]

I'm not very familiar with Tull. I've heard a song or 2. Not enough to make an opinion. That grammy you mention was ment for Metallica BTW!

Do you want my lyrics? :D :D :D
Noooooooo......

CHICAGO TRIBUNE Click for full picture

5 November 1989

BEATING THE RAP

Jethro Tull still feels the sting of its Grammy award

There have been plenty of Grammy Award winners who, for a variety of reasons, have been absent on awards night. Among 1988's winners, Sting was in Brazil fighting the destruction of the rain forests, Bruce Springsteen was out fighting for human rights with Amnesty International and Michael Jackson was in Japan, closing a sold-out world tour.

This year, lan Anderson, flutist and lead singer for Jethro Tull, was listed among the missing when the name inside the envelope was read.

Like the rest of the band, Anderson, at his home near London, was sleeping.

The band had talked about going to the ceremony after we were nominated, but the record company told us: "The word is that Metallica is going to win, it's not worth the trip," (Anderson said by phone from New York last week). So we stayed at home.

The next thing I knew, I was getting a phone call in the middle of the night saying "you've won." That was hugely embarrassing.

Perhaps, but probably not as embarrassing as it might have been if Anderson and the rest of Tull had made it to Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium to pick up the group's first Grammy in its more than 21-year career.

When it was announced that the band's Crest Of A Knave LP had bested releases from Metallica, Jane's Addiction and Iggy Pop in the new 'hard rock/metal' category, a chorus of bops rained down from the public balconies upstairs. Soon, even some of the artists on the main floor had joined in.

After the ceremony, critics were virtually unanimous in lambasting the conservatism of the National Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences voters who selected Tull over newer, younger artists who better represented metal's late '80s explosion. They screamed that Tull, a band whose fusion of jazz, R&B and rock has been best known as fodder for classic rock radio, didn't deserve a nomination, let alone the trophy.

Anderson expects the reception to be much different when Jethro Tull pulls into the Chicago Theatre for two sold-out shows Nov. 14 and 15.

But there's little doubt he's still stinging from the Grammy rebuke and the tidal wave of negative press that ensued. In conversation, it was the first thing on his mind as he sought to clear the air with a writer who'd referred to Tull as "ancient" in print shortly after the Grammys.

There's no doubting that it was an unpopular win (Anderson said in a measured, patient tone). Some questioned whether we belonged in that category and others if we belonged on the planet. I think one New York paper even referred to us as "the now-defunct Jethro Tull." So I guess being 'ancient' is a little better than dead. But not much.

I think the Grammy people, who happen to be artists and other peers, were recognizing an OK album, but more importantly, also recognizing the fact that Jethro Tull has been around for 20 years and never won anything before. I'm sure that it was a way of saying that it was our turn for some recognition, but it was embarrassing to be embroiled in something as controversial as it turned out to be.

In retrospect, Anderson is probably right. Few others have matched Jethro Tull's staying power (their first LP, This Was, was released in 1968) and knack for maintaining a core audience apart from the ever-changing mainstream. Though their albums in the mid-'70s, principally Aqualung and Thick As A Brick, brought them their greatest popular recognition, this is a band that has found success mostly on rock's outer track, playing to a select audience of devoted fans.

We know we have a minority appeal (Anderson said). But that minority appeal equates with somewhere between a half a million and a million record sales per album, plus catalog sales. From that point of view, it may be a minority in relation to the size of a Michael Jackson audience or a Rolling Stone audience — when, in a blue moon, they come out with a new record.

But we're there regularly. It's easier to equate Jethro Tull in that context with the Grateful Dead, than other bands who pop up from time to time, cash in and leave. It's the same sort of large family quality to the audience. After all these years, probably the best kind of reward you could have is to go onstage feeling rather like the best man at a very large family wedding. That's what it's like most every night.

And like the Dead, who have recently gained a new younger audience to augment longtime Deadheads, Anderson said Jethro Tull has also found a new audience — among young rockers fascinated with classic rock radio and groups that made their start in the '60s.

It seems Anderson kept some of that in mind when, as writer, producer and engineer, he gathered the band to record Rock Island at his home studio earlier this year.

The album is steeped in Tull's trademark merging of blues-based rock with R&B and classical leanings. Anderson's flute, which was all but hidden on 'Crest', makes a welcome return on songs that vary from dark personal portraits to global themes.

Though Rock Island has moved quickly into the Billboard top 100, Anderson was wary about the effects the recent retro-summer escapade will have on its success.

I think there's nothing wrong with playing 'Stairway To Heaven' and 'Aqualung' and stuff on American radio and paying to see the Who one last time. But the format ought to allow for some new material from new bands or new material for old bands.

Nostalgia tends to be a dangerous emotion in music because it never tells the truth. You try to relive the past and it is far better in the memory than it is in reality. So you cling to what is warm and fuzzy in your mind without looking for anything new.

That's why it's interesting, particularly in America, when you're playing to an audience where many of the people are only in their teens or in their early 20s. They grew up with Jethro Tull, their memories are not the memories of an adolescent hearing rock music [for the first time], but of a child 4 or 5 years old hearing what their parents were playing. They grew up with Jethro Tull the way they grew up with the Muppets.

That's a different sort of emotion. It's not nostalgia, it's a kind of basic, primitive response to things that as a child were precious to you. That's what we hope to build.

DAVID SILVERMAN

[Mrs.Tone]

Dinah Moe Hum by Frank Zappa (The master of twisted)

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
(No no no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . . )

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up,
Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet

I told her . . .
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
About her mental health
'Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline . . .

Kiss my aura . . . Dora . . .
M-M-M . . . it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more . . .

(Oh, baby . . . )

Oh, sure . . . look,
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM . . . tweezers!
Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em . . .
Gimme your lighter . . .

I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a Dinah-Moe again
An' Dinah-Moe
An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora
An' Dinah-Moe
Kiss my aura, Dinah

[The Lurker]

Yet another Zappa song:

Once upon a time
It was in Albuquerque, New Mexico
There were these girls that worked at the college
The were really cool...
(They thought so anyway)
The would be delighted to tell you how suave they where
At the drop of a hat

There was three of 'em:
One of them thought she was a Beauty Queen...
The other one was a Walking Blow-Job
And then there was this skinny girl...

Oh well...
Some of the guys in the band got together
With the girls from the college
They were having a good time...
(We were in Alburquerque for a couple of days)
But these girls thought they were Hot Shit
'N wouldn't pooch the guys in the band
On the first day, so...
A couple of the guys in the band
Who were desparate for THAT KIND OF ACTION
Kept workin' on 'em for two days
(Which is a waste of fuckin' time anyway...)
So, anyway...
But if that's your idea of a good time, what the hey?

Send those pants up here!
Here's some more!
Okay, good-good!
Traditional cotton...oh, how sweet!
Umf...huh-huh-huh-huhhh...
HERE! Work these!

Anyway...
We're in Albuquerque, New Mexico...
A couple of the guys in the band, who shall go nameless
Because their girlfriends might find out
Decided they were gonna work the wall on these girls
From the college
So, one night...it was the first night
When they were still trying to 'get it in there'
(Ya know what I mean? Huh-huh-huh-huh...)
The skinny girl, she says to one of the guys in the band
She says, well, to several of the guys in the band
And one of the T-shirt guys too...
"HEY! LET'S GO SKINNY-DIPPING!"
At two o'clock in the morning at the pool at the hotel
That's right, your heard right,
Two o'clock in the morning, pool at the hotel...
It was so fun...
But the water was very, very cold!
So they go out there and the girl who was really skinny
'N' probably totally insensitive to climatic changes
Took all of her garments off and she jumped in the pool
And she says, "HEY GUYS! COME ON IN!"
Well, one of them did...
The other one was too smart for that shit
So him and the T-shirt guy say by the edge of the pool
And when the girl who was really skinny
(And insensitive to climatic changes)
Took off her clothes and jumped in the pool
She threw her pants over there by the little table

Well, one of the guys in the band picked up het panties
(He told me later the stuff in the bottom
Was like punching an eclair...)
Anyhow...there was nothing else to do...
It was Alburquerque, New Mexico
It's two o'clock in the morning...
They're not going to get any nooky anyway...
So this one guy and the T-shirt guy
Started sniffing the girl's panties...
They were sniffing the fudge and sniffing the glue...
Sniffing every 'thing' that adhered to these
Delightful little morsels
(Some of you might think this is weird...
No wonder. It's not exactly normal, but
What the fuck?)
So, they're snorting it...
(Hey! It's the twentieth century...
Whatever you can do to have a good time, let's get on with it,
So long as it doesn't cause a murder...)

So they're snorting the pants
'N' then they put them on their heads...
They were having a good time...
The girl was in the water...she didn't even see
What was going on with her underpants...
They were wearing the pants
It looked just like a tiny little party hat...
Their ears were sticking out the side...it was so fun
Later on they discovered,
This would make a great way of life for them...
They would go from town to town, looking for panties
They would take the panties after they were hung up
On the clothes line
Later on they would take 'em back in the dressing room
They would play with them...
They would fetish the underpants...
They would snort every little morsel attached
To the underpants...and then...they would feel that
They were FULFILLED



And so you can see,
That what we're doing here on stage
Is part of a Great American Tradition
The tradition of the
JAZZ DISCHARGE PARTY HATS

[oldivor]

My own

I’m here with my friend Arty
Let’s go some where I say
We gonna go to the party
Gonna have a fun time today

Me and Arty gonna have a time
All this fun is gonna be his and mine

We find some lustful chicks
While I talk to Sarah
Arty talks to some stuck up bitch
He says can I talk to you and I say yeah

Me and Arty gonna have a time
All this fun is gonna be his and mine

He found the person who killed his cat
And she’s just sitting over there
Then we take her out back
The Arty starts pulling on her hair

He starts to hit her with a abt
I try to stop him from doing that
Hell filled his heart that night
He beat and killed her with al his might

Me and Arty gonna have a time
All this fun is gonna be his and mine

I helped him dump the bloody body
The next day the police stopped by
They look around real badly
Before too long I had been locked up

Now they say Arty isn’t real
That I’m just a crazy loon
I look normal now that the bite marks have healed
But they do let me watch loony toons

Me and Arty gonna have a time
All this fun is gonna be his and mine

[bassnutz]

Slayer -

"Welcome to the horror of the revelation
Tell me what you think of your savior now
I reject all the biblical views of the truth
Dismiss it as the folklore of the times
I won't be force fed prophecies
From a book of untruths for the weakest mind
I keep the bible in a pool of blood
So that none of its lies can affect me."

Soul Coughing -

"Zoom zip and uh wake up, uh zoom zip

My eye like a noisegate the number 8 frustrate and I roll to the floor fruit
to the fruit to the core of a spheroid embedded in my skull the round the
zero the symbol of null and void and well I toyed with the concept of
vitamin B-12 the synapse the synapse it feeds itself on a nutrient
contained in sunlight the blink the lid the fight to snap open

Moving up to the double M 2000 I eat up a decade like a flan your turn of
the century turn it up turn it up clock seconds to the hour go and cash the
millenium Um Um and it hums like a migraine to the brain in the time yet
remaining but uh ah melancholy nonsense and I crack nouns brotherfuck
the verb tense

Recombination, then Viacom, Safeway"

[The Lurker]

clutch has some stuff that's pretty off-the-wall.....

Burning Beard

Every day I wake up we drink a lot of coffee and watch the CNN
Every day I wake up to a bowl of clover honey and let the locusts fly in.
Lobsterbacks attack the town again
Wrap all my things in aluminum
Beams of darkness streak across the sky
Pink rays from the ancient satellite

Every time I look out my window same three dogs looking back at me.
Every time I open my windows cranes fly in to terrorize me.
The power of the Holy Ghost
The power of the Holy Ghost

Shadow of the New Praetorian
Tipping cows in fields Elysian*
Saturnalia for all you have
The seven habits of the highly infected calve

Swan diving off the tongues of crippled giants
International Business Machine
Choking on bits of barley bread crumbs
Oh this burning beard I have come undone.
It’s just as I’ve feared. I have, I have come undone.

Bugger dumb the last of academe.
Okkam’s razor makes the cutting clean.
Shaven like a banker, lilac vegetal.
Break the glass ceiling and golden parachute on down.
The power of the Holy Ghost comes to town.

Shadow of the New Praetorian
Tipping cows in fields Elysian
Saturnalia for all you have
The seven habits of the highly infected calve.


*This is the best song line I've heard in ages, just for sheer whateverness:D

Clutch is also the only band I've seen who has wikipedia links in their lyric pages....just in case you have to check on what Saturnalia is:)

Video for above song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nIAnCJL1f0

[beam]

Cruisin' Mos Espa
In my Delorean
War's over
I'm a peacetime mandalorian

My story has stumped
Star Wars historians
Deep in debate,
Buffet plate at Bennigan's

Rhyme renegade
Sure to penetrate
First and second offense
I won't hesitate

Got a job to do
And Darth's the guy that delegates
Got something against Skywalker
Someone he really hates

I don't give a fuck
I'm after Solo
For all I care
He could be hidin' at Yoda's dojo

Gotta make the money
Credit's no good
When the jawas run the shop
In your neighborhood

Think you can cook
I got a grappling hook
Let's make this quick
'Cause I'm really booked

I'm a devious degenerate
Defender of the devil
Shut down all the trash compactors
On the detention level

chorus
My backpack's got jets
Well I'm Boba the Fett
Well I bounty hunt for Jabba Hutt
To finance my 'Vette

wicky wicky woo

Well I chill in deep space
A mask is over my face
Well I deliver the prize
But I still narrow my eyes
'Cause my time
I don't like to waste.

Get down

I'm a question
Wrapped inside an enigma
Get inside the slave one
Find your homing signal

From Endor to Hoth
Ripley to Spock
I'll find what you want
But there's gonna be a cost

See, my name is Boba Fett
I know my shit is tight
Start not actin'right
You're frozen in carbonite

Got telescopic sight
Flame throwers on my wrist
You still don't get the gist
Spiked boots are made to kick

Targets are made to hit
You think I give a shit
Yo mama is a bitch
I see you in the Sarlaac Pit

You just flipped my switch
Integrity been dissed
You scratchin' on my itch
You know I shoot to get

Got bambinas at cantinas
Waitin' to lick my lusty lips
So I'll let you get back inside
Your little space ship

Give you a head start
'Cause I'm the sportin' kind
Consider the starting line
The sneaky smile I hide inside

Hope you have hyper drive (drive)
pray to stay alive ('live)
Don't try to slip me a five
'Cause I never take a bribe

To the beat of a different drummer
Bad ass bounty hunter
Let no man put asunder
Or else they be put under

As in six feet
Got an imperial fleet
Backin' me up, gonna blow up
Any attempt to defeat

They gotta death star
Got four payments on my car
Hand it over to hammer head
At Mos Eisley bar

He used to carjack
Now he's a barback
Just goes to show how you can
Get back on the right track

As for me that's not an option
Can't say that with more clarity
Me going legit would be like
Jar Jar on speech therapy

Chorus
My backpack's got jets
Well I'm Boba the Fett
Well I bounty hunt for Jabba Hutt
To finance my 'Vette

wicky wicky woo

Well I chill in deep space
A mask is over my face
Well I deliver the prize
But I still narrow my eyes
'Cause my time
I don't like to waste.

Get down

Slice you open like a Taun Taun
Faster than the Autobahn
Or a motorbike in Tron
Do the deed and then I'm gone

Jaba has a hissyfit
Contact Calrissian
Over a colt, the plan unfolds
No politic is legit

Back in the day
When I was a slave
Living life in the fast lane
Like in a pod race

My mean streak tweaked
I became a basket case
So this space ace
Split that place, poste haste

Took up a noble cause
Called the Clone Wars
'Cause life's not all about
Girls and cars

Getting fucked up
In fucked up bars
See, I'm not a retard
Or gay like de Barge

I'm large and in charge
With a face so scarred
A cold black heart
That's been torn apart

The Sith wish that they
Had a dick so hard
'Cause it's long long ago
In a pussy far far

Call me master, 'cause I'm faster
Than Pryor on fire
I no longer have to hot wire

I'm a hunter for hire
With no plans to retire
And all the sucka MCs
Can call me sire

[conor.meara]

"Dance With The Devil"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M72zVuBNpEA

[Verse 1]
I once knew a nigga whose real name was William
His primary concern, was making a million
Being the illest hustler, that the world ever seen
He used to fuck moviestars and sniff coke in his dreams
A corrupted young mind, at the age of thirteen
Nigga never had a father and his mom was a fiend
She put the pipe down, but every year she was sober
Her sons heart simultaneously grew colder
He started hanging out selling bags in the projects
Checking the young chicks, looking for hit and run prospects
He was fascinated by material objects
But he understood money never bought respect
He build a reputation 'cause he could hustle and steal
But got locked once and didn't hesitate to squeal
So criminals he chilled with didn't think he was real
You see me and niggaz like this have never been equal
I don't project my insurecurity's at other people
He fiended for props like addicts with pipes and needles
So he felt he had to prove to everyone he was evil
A feeble-minded young man with infinite potetial
The product of a ghetto breed capatalistic mental
Coincidentally dropped out of school to sell weed
Dancing with the devil, smoked until his eyes would bleed
But he was sick of selling trees and gave in to his greed

[Hook]
Everyone trying to be trife never face the consequences
You propably only did a month for minor offences
Ask a nigga doing life if he had another chance
But then again there's always the wicked at new and advanced
Dance forever with the devil on a code cell block
But thats what happens when you rape, murder and sell rock
Devils used to be gods, angels that fell from the top
There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot

[Verse 2]
So Billy started robbing niggaz, anything he could do
He'd get his respect back, in the eyes of his crew
Starting fights over little shit, up on the block
Stepped up to selling mothers and brothers the crack rock
Working overtime for making money for the crack spot
Hit the jackpot and wanted to move up to cocaine
For filling the scarface fantasy stuck in his brain
Tired of the block niggaz treating him the same
He wanted to be major like the cut throats and the thugs
But when he tried to step to 'em, niggaz showed him no love
They told him any motherfucking coward can sell drugs
Any bitch nigga with a gun, can bust slugs
Any nigga with a red shirt can front like a blood
Even Puffy smoked the motherfucker up in a club
But only a real thug can stab someone till they die
Standing in front of them, starring straight into their eyes
Billy realized that these men were well guarded
And they wanted to test him, before business started
Suggested raping a bitch to prove he was cold hearted
So now he had a choice between going back to his life
Or making money with made men, up in the cife
His dreams about cars and ice, made him agree
A hardcore nigga is all he ever wanted to be
And so he met them friday night at a quarter to three

[Hook]

[Verse 3]
They drove around the projects slow while it was raining
Smoking blunts, drinking and joking for entertainment
Untill they saw a woman on the street walking alone
Three in the morning, coming back from work, on her way home
And so they quietly got out the car and followed her
Walking through the projects, the darkness swallowed her
They wrapped her shirt around her head and knocked her onto the floor
This is it kid now you got your chance to be raw
So Billy oaked her up and grapped the chick by the hair
And dragged her into a lobby that had nobody there
She struggled hard but they forced her to go up the stairs
They got to the roof and then held her down on the ground
Screaming shut the fuck up and stop moving around
The shirt covered her face, but she screamed the clawed
So Billy stomped on the bitch, until he broken her jaw
The dirty bastards knew exactly what they were doing
They kicked her until they cracked her ribs and she stopped moving
Blood leaking through the cloth, she cried silently
And then they all proceeded to rape her violently
Billy was meant to go first, but each of them took a turn
Ripping her up, and choking her until her throat burned
A broken jaw mumbled for god but they weren't concerned
When they were done and she was lying bloody, broken and broos
One of them niggaz pulled out a brand new twenty-two
They told him that she was a witness of what she'd gone through
And if he killed her he was guaranteed a spot in the crew
He thought about it for a minute, she was practicly dead
And so he leaned over and put the gun right to her head

[Sample from "Survival of the Fittest" by Mobb Deep]
I'm falling and I can't turn back
I'm falling and I can't turn back

[Verse 4]
Right before he pulled the trigger, and ended her life
He thought about the cold pain with the platinum and ice
And he felt strong standing along with his new brothers
Cocked the gat to her head, and pulled back the shirt cover
But what he saw made him start to cringe and studder
Cuz he was starring into the eyes of his own mother
She looked back at him and cried, cause he had forsaken her
She cried more painfully, than when they were raping her
His whole world stopped, he couldn't even contiplate
His corruption had succesfully changed his fate
And he remembered how his mom used to come home late
Working hard for nothing, cause now what was he worth
He turned away from the woman that had once given him birth
And crying out to the sky cause he was lonely and scared
But only the devil responded, cause god wasn't there
And right then he knew what it was to be empty and cold
And so he jumped off the roof and died with no soul
They say death take you to a better place but I doubt it
After that they killed his mother, and never spoke about it
And listen cause the story that I'm telling is true
Cuz I was there with Billy Jacobs and I raped his mom to
And now the devil follows me everywhere that I go
Infact I'm sure he's standing among one of you at my shows
And every street cypher listening to little thugs flowe
He could be standing right next to you, and you wouldn't know
The devil grows inside the hearts of the selvish and wicked
White, brown, yellow and black colored is not restricted
You have a self destructive destiny when your inflicted
And you'll be one of gods children and fell from the top
There's no diversity because we're burning in the melting pot
So when the devil wants to dance with you, you better say never
Because the dance with the devil might last you forever

[Drippin' Robin]

Alright, y'all are asking for it...

-----
Cannibal Corpse - Necropedophile

I was once a man before I transformed
into this molester, freshly deceased children
You have born, torn by my rape
The dead are not safe, the lifeless child corpse
I will violate

Pleasure from the dead, complete satisfaction
I open the coffin
Sick thoughts run through my head as I stare
At the dead, over and over, I can't escape
I begin the dead sex, licking her young, rotted orifice
I cum in her cold cunt, shivering with ecstasy
for nine days straight I do the same
She becomes by dead, decayed child sex slave
her neck I hack, cutting through the back
I use her mouth to eject

Here I cum, blood gushes from
bleeding black blood
her head disconnected
As I came, viciously I cut, through her jugular vein
She's already dead, I masturbate with her severed head
My lubrication, her decomposition
Spending my life molesting dead children

Intercourse with infants
Curing heads on top of spikes
boiling skulls
Skin sliding off of bones

Voices
The voices call
Voices
The voices are calling me
Buried dead I've spiritually infected
Call to me from beyond their graves

Bleed
I now bleed pus
I bleed, the blood of the dead
I bleed on her livid skin
Thrusting myself within
Beginning to chop through her hairless crotch
Beyond what we know as death
It haunts me everyday
I hear the voice of every child
That lies next to me decayed
A fresh corpse, to fill with my infection
Tortured before death, no orifice left unfilled

Violated after death
Virgin hole I infest
Anal pore spewing cess
The sacred juice I injest
Your dead child I defile
Necropedophile
-------------------

[Vanlatte]

Hehe, my fav lyrics;


[QUOTE] My Ding-A-Ling-A-Ling


My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling
My Ding-A-Ling My Ding-A-Ling won't you play with My Ding-A-Ling


That's profoundly disturbing.

:D

[The Hammer]

My favorite Gary Numan song.

Down in the park
Where the machmen meet
The machines are playing `kill-by-numbers
Down in the park with a friend called `five

I was in a car crash
Or was it the war?
Well, Ive never been quite the same
Little white lies like I was there

Come to zom-zoms, a place to eat
Like it was built in one day
You can watch the humans
Try to run

Oh, look, theres a rape machine
Id go outside if it looks the other way
You wouldnt believe
The things they do

Down in the park
Where the chant is death, death, death
Until the sun cries morning
Down in the park with friends of mine

We are not lovers
We are not romantics
We are here to serve you
A different face but the words never change

[bill]

SOD, MOD and the Mentors have some really crazy stuff. Take a look at the Mentors...

Get off your back and service me or be smacked

Bend on over here, I´m putting pain on your rear

Brains in her head she lacks

So service me or be smacked

I do it with every chick

Many shits I have packed

I know I´m just a bum

Beat your ass just like a drum

Listen bitch, do as I say

Service me or be smacked

I can replace you some day

Brains in her head she obviously lacks

While I´m kickin´ back drinkin´ my cum

Service me or be smacked

Service me or be smacked

Kiss my feet, lick my toes

Toejam is going up your nose

Your shits I have packed

Service me or be smacked

Punchin´ and kickin´ your fuckin´ ass

Sluggin´ and beltin´, it´s a gas

Whoppin´ and poppin´, drinkin´ beers

kickin´ and gougin´, causin´ tears

After Fellatio to the shed we will go

Don´t cause a big divorce...

Or you won´t get intercourse

When she gets whipped she has to yell

But her shits, they can smell

Service me or be smacked...

One more just for fun...


Listen little girl it´s near the hour

Come with me and take golden shower

Listen little slut, do as you´re told

Come with daddy for me to pour the gold

Golden shower, it´s getting near the hour

For a golden shower,

I´ve got the righteous power

All through my excrements you shall roam

Open your mouth and taste the foam

Bend up and smell my anal vapor

Your face is my toilet paper

Golden shower, I´ve got the power

For a golden shower,

I´ve got the righteous power

Our relationship I don´t want to spoil it

You are my personal toilet

Listen little girl

It´s getting near the hour

On your face I leave a shit tower

Shit tower, prune skin power

Smellin´ sour, it´s the shit tower

Golden showers,

It´s getting near the hours

For a golden shower,

I´ve got the righteous power

[i_wanna_les_paul]

I just like the melancholy presentation of Barenaked Ladies' "Tonight Is the Night I Fell Asleep at the Wheel" - especially the "Slow motion Walter, the fire engine guy" line. :D